Relationship Tips
Most people feel the need for love, friendship, and belonging. Having a friend to talk to and share interests with can add much meaning and enjoyment to your life. Feeling loved and having a sense of belonging with people you see every day helps you feel good. Caring about other people and helping them in their lives can add satisfaction to your own life. By helping others, many people find a sense of purpose in their own lives.
Learn more about: Friendships
Having an illness like schizophrenia can make it harder for you to communicate with your friends. You may have a hard time expressing your thoughts and understanding what others are saying. Getting acquainted with a new friend can be especially hard under these conditions. Be patient with yourself. As you continue with your treatment, the symptoms that cause these problems may improve.
New friendships often begin between people who have similar interests. Here are a few ideas you may want to consider:
- Share your hobby with other people –– if you like to play cards, for example, teach someone you know how to play
- Join a club (art, music, book club, etc.)
- Meet people at your church or synagogue by helping with volunteer work
- Be open to friendships while you're at your group session, in class or at work
- Join a support group to meet others who have schizophrenia
- Participate in a sport at the YMCA –– maybe start with a swimming lesson
- If you have a computer with Internet access, you may want to try chatting with people who share your interests on the Internet
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Intimate Relationships
Many people say they would like to have an intimate and sexual relationship with someone they care about. But finding someone you care about may not happen right away. You also have the right to choose not to have an intimate relationship. If you aren't yet ready for an intimate relationship, you may find it easier and less stressful to focus on relationships with your friends.
Starting a relationship can be exciting, but can also cause you to feel nervous. This is normal, because you're not sure how your relationship will turn out. Meeting new people and developing an intimate relationship can be very stressful, and having symptoms of schizophrenia can make things more difficult.
You may be unsure about whether to tell others, as you get to know them, that you have a mental illness. As a relationship develops, your illness may make it harder to handle problems that occur in a relationship. You may want to discuss these issues with your therapist first, so that you'll feel more prepared to handle the situation when you begin a new relationship.
Here are some tips that may help prepare you for an intimate relationship:
- Stay aware of your stress level — too much stress can make your symptoms worse. Talk to your doctor and the other members involved in your treatment about what you can do to keep your symptoms under control during this time
- If you aren't quite ready for an intimate relationship, you may find it easier and less stressful to focus on relationships with your friends. Developing close friendships with others can help you learn how to communicate better and handle different points of view or disagreements that may arise in any relationship. Practicing these skills may help you feel more comfortable when intimacy begins to develop in a relationship
- Before dating, it's a good idea to decide whether you will tell the person about your illness, and how you will tell him or her
- Appearance and hygiene are very important when you're trying to meet new people. Talk to your case manager for ideas about what you can do to look your best
- Make sure the other person is interested in you
- Remember that relationships can end without either person doing anything wrong. You may have to be prepared to deal with rejection––an experience that is never easy
- It's up to you to decide if and when you want to have sex with another person. Your decision may depend on many things, such as your values, morals, religious beliefs, and how well you know the other person. You may want to discuss how you feel about these issues with your case manager or therapist before your relationship develops further
- Let your relationship develop naturally from a caring, long-term friendship
- At the beginning of your relationship, you may have difficulties with sexual performance (such as getting an erection, if you're a male). This is normal, and usually improves as you and your partner become more comfortable with each other
- It's important to practice safe sex by always using a condom, which will help protect against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases
- If you're a woman, pregnancy is a concern. Some medicines can be harmful to an unborn fetus, so if you think you may be pregnant, tell your doctor right away
